What Makes Someone “Anti-Gay?”
Normally, most of what comes across my Twitter feed are bad jokes or fellow authors pimping out their work. I use Twitter mostly as a way to connect with other writers, potential publishers, and the people who post the really good cat videos.
Today though I saw a tweet that caught my eye, and inspired me to write a response.
Without doing the whole “Webster’s dictionary defines” thing, I think it’s safe to assume everyone knows what “anti” means. It means you are opposed, against, on the “other” side. It’s a strong word, which is why it’s thrown around so much in the abortion debate; people in favor of abortion rights call those opposed “anti-choice”, when the opposed prefer to call themselves “pro-life.” For some reason, it’s much more favorable to be known for supporting something, than purely being against.
Knowing that, I thought about the flip side, and what would make someone “pro-gay.” To do that, you need to define what “gay” is. Now, my definition might differ from some people’s, but seeing as how I spend quite a bit of time with gay people, I’d say I have a pretty good understanding for an outsider.
- Gay is a sexual orientation that means you are attracted to someone of the same sex.
- Gay is a label that when applied, automatically changes most people’s view of you; either for the better (oh, he must be so good with fashion!) or for the worse (she’s a butch man hater.)
- If you are Gay, and open about this, it is not safe for you to travel everywhere in the world (Middle East, Sudan, etc.)
- Gay affects who you are, at the core, but does not define everything about you. Unless you are having Gay sex 24/7.
- Gay means you are a minority.
- Gay means you do not have the legal right in many places to marry, adopt, share medical benefits, keep from being fired for your orientation, keep from being refused service at a restaurant or hotel for your (perceived) orientation, or kept from being able to rent a house or apartment because of your (again perceived) orientation.
- While it’s debatable to some, I’ll go ahead and add, Gay is not a choice.
This may all seem like semantics, but it’s not. Simply for the reason that if you asked the average person opposed to marriage equality what “Anti-Gay” meant, it would be impossible for them to explain it without admitting they want to keep Gay people from having the very things that many of us take for granted. So why do they bristle so much at being called “Anti-Gay?” Maybe one of my friends or loved ones who is against Gay marriage could answer that question for me. If they think they can, I sincerely would love to hear an explanation, since I can’t come up with one on my own.
If you take that personal belief, and then use it to advocate, donate money, or verbally or physically support a cause that negatively effects millions of people, then yes, it can be called hate. It may be hard for us straight people to understand, but if I asked any of my gay friends if they felt hated by the organizations Chik-Fil-A donated to, they wouldn’t hesitate to say, “Yes.” How else are they supposed to feel, when they are openly accused of trying to destroy families, society, and in some cases, the world, just because they want the legal right to marry?
So I’m going to respectfully disagree with you Esther. I’ll leave it at that though, since I don’t hate you.